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Adding a 2nd Worship Experience, Pt.3
Posted by: | CommentsOn Sunday, April 10th we will launch 2 new worship times at The Dialogue Church: 9am & 11am. Our goal is to launch a few weeks before Easter, giving our regulars a couple of weeks to find their new worship time and prepare to invite their friends & family on Easter, Sunday, April 24th at 9am & 11am.
With every step you take as a leader there will be faith, excitement, anxiety, fear, questions, confusion, and even resistance from those you are taking on the journey with you. I’d like to share some of the key reasons to add a 2nd worship experience.
Here is reason #3:
3. To DEVELOP MORE LEADERS!
More ministry means more leadership required. Everything rises and falls on leadership!
Everyone has influence to use for Christ and every member is a minister; but God gives to some the gift of leadership! And its our job as the church to identify and cultivate that gift!
Preaching feeds the church, but leadership builds the church! To successfully multiply worship experiences we must both turn up the preaching, and turn up the leading!
I’m Sexually Frustrated, Pt.5
Posted by: | CommentsIf we want to move from sexual frustration to sexual fulfillment then we must…
Embrace the fact that GOD MADE US TO BE COMPLEMENTARY
So God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. (Genesis 1:27 NLT)
So often, when speaking to couples whose marriage is on the rocks, and they are at each other’s throats and they are contemplating the “D” word; I will hear them say, “Well, we are just so different.”
WELL, YEAH, THAT IS KIND OF THE POINT, YOU ARE A MAN, SHE IS A WOMAN. God made you that way, God made you to be different, not for competition, but to be complementary. You complete one another. As married people we need to stop competing with one another and start completing one another, after is the meaning of “the two shall become one flesh.”
Guys, if you wanted someone who liked it when you played Madden 2010 in your underwear all day, you should have just moved in with your college roommate. Ladies, if you wanted someone who would be overly emotional and sympathetic about “everything” and enjoyed doing the dishes then you should have just moved in with his mom instead;-)
We’re obviously different……..and I believe we need to recognize that it is by divine design. God planned it that way. He intended our differences to be complementary, not competitive! If I don’t understand the complementary role of my wife, I’m going to expect her to think like a man and vice versa.
One of the basic differences between men and women is in this area of sex; 43% of women tend to think about sex once a week, while men tend to think about sex on a daily basis. If women had the same sex drive as men, nothing would ever get done in this world!
~ For women, if there is not a good relationship, then there is not good sex.
~ For men, good sex makes for a good relationship.
This is where the hormonal differences come in to play. Men are pretty loaded down with testosterone and are visually stimulated. If the environment is right and a few signals are given or perceived as given, they’re good to go…….
Women on the other hand have more oxytocin flowing within them….well what the heck is that? ………….It’s the hormone that is very active when breastfeeding and creates attachment or connection. Oxytocin is the hormone that creates a bond between mother and her child.
~ Women need to feel connected before they want to be intimate sexually. Men feel more connected after they’ve been intimate. They get all conversational and sensitive.
HERE”S A GENERAL NUGGET OF TRUTH!
~ A man wants to have sex to feel close.
~ A woman wants to feel close to have sex.
Remember, God intended our differences to be complimentary, not competitive.
The goal of marriage is not simply to have all my needs met, but to act in Christ likeness so that the two may become one.
If missed this talk you can listen online at http://www.thedialoguechurch.com/?p=3203.
I’m Sexually Frustrated, Pt3
Posted by: | CommentsMAYBE YOU THOUGHT WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED THAT ALL YOUR SEXUAL FRUSTRATION WOULD DISAPPEAR
I’m sure that that many of you expected that once you got married all of the frustrations you had relating to sex would be a thing of the past. And then you got married!……..and all of a sudden he doesn’t look as good as he once did, she doesn’t turn you on like she once did…..sex is just not as exciting as it once was….And as a result you’re left Frustrated.
What leads to sexual frustration?
UNREASONABLE DEMANDS
Not necessarily from one another, but rather the demands of life… dual careers, working different shifts; children; hobbies. A whole lot about the American way of life leaves us exhausted at the end of the day, and we’re too tired for our most important relationships. There are also unreasonable demands when it comes to how often some married people want to have sex…..we’ll get to that later though.
IF YOU AND I DON’T LIVE WITH MARGIN, THEN THOSE CLOSEST TO US WILL BECOME MARGINALIZED.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
What do soap operas, romance novels, and pornography have in common? They all feed unrealistic expectations. How often does Hollywood include foreplay and the moments right after sexual intimacy? They don’t but many of us compare our marriages to what we see in Hollywood. Your wife will never be like a celebrity porn star, because they are’t real, they are fantasy, these are characters (like actors in a movie) that some 45 year old single dude who lives in his mom’s basement playing dungeons and dragons all day has concocted. Your husband will never be your favorite Brad Pitt character, or any other role in your favorite romance movie, why? Because life is much longer than a two hour blockbuster; because your marriage is much more intense than any hollywood director can create; and because every relationship has issues that are overwhelming and we can’t simply get out of it by changing the channel.
UNRESOLVED ISSUES
This includes everything from communication breakdown within the relationship to hurt and pain from past relationships. Those who have encountered various forms of sexual abuse in their past tend to associate sex with pain as opposed to pleasure… both physically and emotionally. One spouse’s unresolved past becomes their partners pain and frustration in the present.
The New England Church
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I LOVE THE CHURCH IN NEW ENGLAND, AND I BELIEVE WE ARE LIVING IN A DAY WHEN THE STAKES COULDN’T BE HIGHER AND THE OPPORTUNITIES TO SHARE CHRIST AND CHANGE LIVES COULDN’T BE GREATER!
I love all the churches in New England looking to make Jesus famous one life at a time. One thing that really ticks me off (and there are only a few things:-) is when I hear someone bashing God’s Church, picking apart God’s church (not just my church, but any church that is listening to Jesus and doing exactly what He says – that’s not to say that we can’t point out sin or offer suggestions for improvement, or evaluate, how else will we get better at the mission of Jesus?); but all too often we can get caught up in criticizing the church in front of an unchurched culture – we think we are relating with the unchurched culture but we are only confirming their suspicions. A good friend of mine recently said, “What if New England is the most unreached region in the country because the church is the most divided in this region. It’s time for churches to stop competing against one another and start completing one another.” In fact we are going to partner with a ton of New England churches at the end of the summer for something called www.UnitedLove2010.com. You can check it out!
Here is what I believe about the New England Church (this is an email I recently wrote to my staff):
TheDC will reach New England for Christ because there are a handful of hardcore Christ-learners unwilling to let their neighbors, co-workers and friends die and go to hell. TheDC will reach thousands for Christ because there is a staff team willing to do whatever it takes to reach those far from God with the life altering gospel of Jesus Christ! TheDC will see hundreds of unchurched people every year follow Jesus in baptism because there is a team of committed Christ followers willing to GIVE AND SERVE AND INVITE LIKE THEY NEVER HAVE BEFORE. TheDC will experience life change through hundreds of life groups meeting in homes, pubs, clubs, cafes, and college campuses all around Greater Manchester because we believe that ongoing life change happens best in the context of authentic community.
We will change the spiritual landscape of this great city because we worship a Jesus WHO IS BIGGER THAN WE COULD EVER IMAGINE AND HE IS WORTHY OF OUR ABSOLUTE BEST IN EVERY SINGLE AREA AND HE IS UNWILLING THAT ANY SHOULD PERISH!
We will feed the poor, clothe the naked, house the homeless, and give hope to the hopeless in ways that inspire unchurched people to investigate Jesus and want to follow Him. We will not be a church that simply SPEAKS THE WORD OF GOD, BUT ALSO LISTENS TO THE CULTURE AND FINDS WAYS TO SERVE THE COMMUNITY AND REACH THE COMMUNITY WITH THE GOSPEL.
TheDC will move into buildings 100x our current size and we will see hundreds of people invite Christ into their life for the very first time because you guys REFUSE TO DWELL ON THE FEW WHO LEAVE, BUT REMAIN RELENTLESS TOWARD THOSE WHO’VE NEVER COME! Every available seat is an opportunity for life change, every filled seat is a heart experiencing Jesus!
We will find creative ways to communicate the message of Christ to a culture that is far from God and completely unchurched. We will see the most spectacular sinners be ruined by the cross of Christ and commit their lives to sharing Jesus with all those around them. We will take the gospel far beyond Manchester and start DC campuses all over New England so the most unchurched region of our country can become the most TRANSFORMED REGION OF OUR COUNTRY.
We will give and go to lands far away in order to plant network churches; why should we keep the gospel we have to just American soil, but why not bring Jesus to the ends of the earth. We will impact the poorest of the poor around our globe through partnering with remarkable Christ-centered organizations to be the hands and feet of Jesus through TheDC Global Initiative. We will send teams of DC members and life groups to serve cross culturally in places that have never heard the gospel or don’t have enough resources to keep their own children alive. We will stand for biblical justice and fight against gross injustices such as human trafficking and the sex trade.
We will help young men find freedom from porn, young girls remain pure until marriage, teenagers not to take their own life because their dad has walked out on them, marriages to turn to Christ so they will stop fighting each other and start FIGHTING FOR EACH OTHER.
We won’t GIVE UP, WE WON’T WALK AWAY, WE WON’T BACK DOWN AND WE WON’T BAIL ON THE JESUS WHO CALLED US, COMMISSIONED US, AND CAUSED US TO FIND LIFE AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS!
We are the CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST AND WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE!
